Joelika.com

Donald Tump’s Semi-Charmed Mutant Squirrel

So I didn’t get to update on Thursday. I know, I know, I make more excuses then a bad boyfriend, but this time, I actually have a legitimate one. See, Thursday I had to go and shoot a high school graduation for work, so I didn’t get home until around 11, and needless to say I was pretty beat. Whine whine whine, I know, that’s all I do. But hey, at least I am making up for it by actually updating this week. You know, I do spoil ya.

Right, so probably one of the coolest things Albright does — OK, the coolest thing Albright does is they hold a senior week during the time the rest of the underclassmen losers are having finals. So while they are all busy regurgitating the crap they put off learning until the hour before, we are busy being bussed around having the times of our lives, but not in that Green Day song kinda way.

I guess I should say right off the bat that senior week isn’t free. Come on, Albright isn’t that nice. No, there was a $40 fee, but that did cover Hershey Park, Dave & Buster’s, Atlantic City, and the bar crawl, just to name a few. So it was a pretty good buy. And for that price, you know they had to cut corners somewhere, and since they weren’t creative enough to mass harvest everyone’s kidneys while they were passed out drunk (what, you act like I’ve done that before), they instead decided to shuttle us around in yellow school busses. It hurts your back just as much as a 6 inch incision, believe me. Absolutely no lumbar support.

And yes, that even holds true for our trip down to Atlantic City. We cruised down to the casino like a bunch of Elementary School Students looking to score some extra cookie scratch. Teacher, why do I have to stand on the street corner again? Oh right, I want candy…

Even though we had to ride down in a big yellow school bus, Atlantic City was still one of my favorite trips during Senior Week. It was my first time down to the East Coast’s very own Sin City, and it really was quite comical to see how all the billboards by the city advertised the local casinos and the great fortune you could amass by playing their slots. And for my friend Alysha and myself, those forty foot promises almost came true. Well, at least in the terms of elementary school students wanting to buy more sugar coated sugar.

See, being the tight wads that we were, we refused to pony up our own hard earned dolla dolla billz to play the slots. Two cents or not, I don’t want a single dime of my hard earned cash to feed that mutant squirrel that lives upon Donald Tump’s head. Instead, what we’d do was find spare tickets laying around with like a nickels worth of change (because slot machines don’t work with coins anymore. How stupid is that?), and we’d hit the cheapest games we could find. At one point we found a ticket worth nine cents. We then got that up to fifty-two cents which made us feel pretty good. So good in fact we decided to hip up the high roller games, you know, those ones that cost twenty-five cents to play.

So we visited this Money Pyramid game or something and we began to play. Thanks to some mad button mashing skills, we were presented with a screen in where we had to find matching pairs hidden in the pyramid. I don’t know if Alysha had some sort of weird Egyptian Money Pyramid ESP or what, but after that point somehow our fifty-two cents grew to $5.64 cents and we immediately broke into our five year old money dance. You know the one, shake shake, tap tap, money in our lap’s lap! $5.64, what’s that? Like two packs of Oreo cookies? Mmmmm!

So that’s how we both made it big in Atlantic City: Pure dumb Egyptian Money Pyramid luck. And $2.84 each. Not bad for a couple of elementary kids who came down in a Yellow School Bus. Barney loves money.

trackback | permalinkComments Feed

Comments are closed.