Archive for January, 2005

Move To Burlington — We’ll Hang Out

Greetings from East Burlington Iowa! I for one wish I was currently in West Burlington, since west side is most certainly the best side, and eat side is most certainly the freak side… but I am much too lazy to walk the one hundred feet or so to get to the best west side, so for now, I’ll stay over here and get my freak on.

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Billy Penn Hates Bling

Well, who would have thunk it. That’s right, all of you Eagles fans out there are finally having your cake and eating it too. Well, almost. See, even though most fans say it is just good enough that the Eagles have finally made it to the SuperBowl for the first time since 1981, Philadelphia has yet to win a national championship in any sporting event since 1983. Why? Well, if you are a local you probably already know the reason why: The Billy Penn Curse. For those of you not familiar with the dreaded curse, for over 90 years there was an understanding in the City of Brotherly Love to let good old William Penn’s statue on top of City Hall to be the highest point in the skyline and allow him to over look his city. Fast forward to 1984 and the agreement to construct One Liberty Place and bam, old Billy has been pissed ever since (not to mention those times he was dressed up with giant baseball hats and Flyers Jersies. Old Billy doesn’t roll like that yo). Now you maybe saying, come on Joel, there’s no such thing as curses or maybe, hey, Boston finally got over their curse of the Bambino, and he is way fatter then William Penn. Which is true, maybe the Eagles can finally kick old Billy in the pants, but I’m just saying, it isn’t over yet. And for all of you out there wondering if I have some sort of gripe with the Eagles, nope. I hope they win! I am already super excited they are going down to the “J-Town”, but hey, I am a jerk, and that’s the way I roll.

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And The Image I Saw Under The Water Was No Fish.

You’ve gotta love PA. I don’t know many other places located in the U.S. of A. that can go a full two weeks without any sunlight. And we’ve done just that. Honestly, where am I? England? Because the last time I looked, I didn’t see anyone dressed up like a Nazi… which is kinda weird, since I Ido live in Reading PA. OK, well, that was kinda cruel, but that’s how I roll… in my house! Oh, and was it just me, or was it totally like 70 degrees outside last night… and now’s its like 30. Because I could be completely hallucinating, after all, I was eating fist-fulls of Nutty Buddies. Mmmmm! Better than Chunkie Monkey!

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The Best Things In Life Are Free (Kickin it Richie Rich Style)

It’s a new week here at Joelika dot com, which means it’s a new week for excuses! I did have every intention of updating last Friday, in fact, I even thought of something good to write about. However, I just couldn’t escape the evil clutches that is my bunk bed (do you have a problem with my bunk bed? well, do ya? punk?).

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Ebola Delicious Monkey

Oh man, I better update this thing before I break my New Years resolution of updating three times a week! It wouldn’t look very professional to wimp out within the first week of the 2005. I mean, that would make me 0 for 2 resolutions, the other one being giving up Chunky Monkey Ice Cream. Did you ever have that stuff? It is like an orgy of ebola in your mouth. Not even joking.

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