Well, Friday’s update never saw the light of day. Sorry about that, but I got really caught up in the resurrection of the once mighty but still awesome pooper trooper. Who would have thought that something that sat in the woods for over a year and a half would have so many problems? I thought the woods would weave a warm and bulwarking cocoon that would envelope my trooper and turn it into a beautiful butterfly and all its problems would go away… Well, not quite, but after putting on a brand new exhaust system and lots of body putty, it’s out for inspection so hopefully the state will deem it safe to drive and I can rock the roads, Reading PA style.
Let’s do this thing! Yeah, so I kinda let the whole updating thing slip again. I know, I know. I have a responsibility of bringing the sunshine into your life each and everyday, but sometimes life gets a little crazy. And since this is now an official blog, I guess I am obligated to tell you all the deep and dark secrets that reside in my little candy valentine heart… Whoa, stay clear of that close button there buddy! I was only joking. Come on, I totally know you have more important things to do than that, and so do I… I just rather not do them.
OK, well, an update didn’t find its way to the hallowed pages that is Joelika dot com last Friday, but that’s OK. I think at that time, I was still planning on writing a whole political piece for the upcoming election, because I have a blog now, and that is what blogist do. But then I thought it over and I remembered just how much I hate politics and I couldn’t understand why I would force it on my three viewers (Joelika Triad of Literacy Assemble!). So consider yourself lucky that instead of getting all political in the hizzie, I instead dropped the hammer on some ice cream.
Today was finally the day, the day that me and the rest of the big corporation loving sheep have been waiting for. Wait for it… Wait for the evil… Yes, evil has arrived in this kitchen! Of course, I am talking about the grand opening of Wal * Mart in my small little slice of PA. I for one am excited to see the impending slow and painful death of the local businesses that is sure to ensue. That includes you, Martin’s Country Market! Your locally own monopoly that has been gouging people for years can not compete with Wal * Mart’s own masochistic love of undercutting its very own prices!
Who doesn’t remember the latino music craze? With it’s hyperactive drum line and unrecognizable foreign lyrics that gave a feeling of yeah, I really am sophisticated, yet oh so sexy. Gloria Estefan said it best, “You can’t control yourself any longer”, and no Gloria, we couldn’t. Who wouldn’t want to bring back those times when everything seemed right in the world and a man was only measured by the size of his beauty mole.