November 28th, 2003: Black Friday
For all of you who have been anxiously awaiting my Reggie and The Full Effect show stories, well, too bad for you because that was so yesterday and turkey is so all this week (in the form of sandwiches and all sorts of goodies!). Yes! The blessed holiday known as gluttensgiving has come and gone, and I can still feel the lingering effects of all of the L- tryptophan I digested.
Now, long time readers here at Joelika.com know that on Thanksgiving most of the writers here participate in what has become a disgusting display of food eating prowess that we so lovingly call the Semiannual Food Eating Contest! You might also know that for two years now I have out eaten the best of the best to take home the coveted belt that was designed for a size 64 waist (because, lets face it, if you are going to eat, you have to be able eat!). ‘But Joel’, you might ask, ‘why is it called the Semiannual food eating contest if you have it every year?’ Ahh, that is a good question, my young little piggy in training. See, it is called the semiannual Food Eating Contest for a reason, a reason like this year, when there is some one present who we all know we could never beat (Cheap? Maybe… but lets see how you feel after 3 plates of food and 3 deserts… that’s what I thought).
Even though this is a perfectly acceptible reason for the cancellation of this years gluttenfest, other competitors such as Johnny Alien might try to tell you that in fact I had not been training and was afraid of shamefully losing my title and my beloved 64 inch belt. But this is coming from a guy who has to eat his own special food at Thanksgiving which isn’t as heavy as what I and other competitors eat… Without his Tofurkey, Johnny might as well eat one piece of turkey and die… of fullness.
But, if we were keeping score, this years winner would have been James for his second year as well, but we weren’t, so I am still the champion! Niener niener niener! So out of the four years of the Semiannual Food Eating Contest, the score would have been James 2, Joel 2 (notice Johnny hasn’t won once…). Will there be a continuation next year? Only time will tell. Oh yeah, Reggie Still Rocks.
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