November 28th, 2002

Happy Turkey day one and all! Chances are if you are looking at this on turkey day, you either a) got really sick of your grandmother pinching your chubbie cheeks, b) your Toefurkey didn’t settle right, or c) you have no life. I am hoping it is option ‘c’ because what I wouldn’t give for a world full of people with no lives so I could take them over and become their leader! Wha ha ha ha ha!

Well, it is official viewers, today is the semiannual food eating contest! Knowing that I can no longer eat more food than a third world nation, I cleverly made a new wager that I could merely eat only more than Johnny Alien. So it seems as if this year’s food eating contest has turned into a one on one eat off battle royal! But it is much more than that my friends, since Johnny Alien is defending the Vegetarian side of the food pyramid with his Toefurkey, and I am defending the beef-eaters side with my thirst for fried mammal flesh (and other type animals that taste good in hot grease). True, everything Johnny Alien eats is lighter than my more manly diet of meat, but that means if I win, I am that much better than him! So stay tuned you option ‘c’s! You don’t want to miss this, it is much better than a bunch of big guys running around in spandex anyway.

Spending time at home this Thanksgiving Season? Are you getting fed up at your relatives asking you the same questions over and over again? Then go on over to the Forums and rage against the relatives! And in case you do happen to like your relatives, go send them a Postcard. It is the gift the keeps on giving… trust me.

Did you watch the new movie here on Why not, dude? Scroll down to the middle of this page to watch Spring Break Reading PA! Come on, I know you want to. It will make you understand the meaning of life… seriously.

Buy your favorite movies in their full CD quality at the Store! Don’t only go through life with seeing the dial up version, but see the movies in their true form with CD Quality sound and full frame motion! You will never look at the Joelika movies in the same way! They have low prices so act now! New movies to be sold soon. For now, you can buy the dual season of Spruce Lake `99 and Spruce Lake 2000 for only 5 dollars! And the new Spruce Lake 2001 Teaser for 2! Do it today!

Don’t forget to check out today’s events on the Official Calendar. Want an event posted? Email it to me.

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